A Deeper Look at Discipline - For Educators
It is often difficult to find a balance between being a disciplinarian and being a social worker, especially in the school setting. This might sound like an oxymoron to some, but I think my experience working in schools has helped me find a balance between my role of holding my students accountable and being their therapist. In fact, I think I learned some things that might be helpful for all educators.
As educators, it is our job to teach children. During every moment that passes through the school day, we should be asking ourselves, “How is this helping the child learn/develop/grow?” If it is not, then chances are it does not need to be a part of the day. That’s where discipline comes in. Of course children are going to make mistakes, in fact if they didn't, we wouldn't really have jobs. It is our job to help children become better students, learners, and individuals. Often times when a child acts out, it makes us cringe; we could become annoyed and angry and sometimes even think, “Not this kid again.” But we have to change our mindset because it is not helping our students learn.
I have always loved the quote, “anger is one letter short of danger.” I've loved it because it’s helpful to teach kids about but it is also helpful to teach adults. When one of our students acts out in class, or requires a consequence, we should not be approaching the situation with anger. This is an important concept I learned at High Road; the staff members' personality is essentially removed during the school day and the day's purpose is for students to either earn consequences or rewards, making each moment one that can be learned from.
How are we helping when we yell at our students out of anger when they have done something wrong? Typically, it causes them to act out more, or hold in their emotions; neither of which is healthy or helpful. Instead, what if we take the personality out of reprimanding students and matter-of-factly state our expectations? For example, “Daniel, part of the rules is to use appropriate language, so you are no longer allowed to earn a prize because you just used an inappropriate word.” Think about how much better this sounds than abrasively yelling, “Daniel! You should be ashamed of yourself, what you just said is completely unacceptable! Why would you say something like that? That’s it! You’re not getting a prize. I’m tired of always telling you the same thing over and over.” Although this example is a bit exaggerated, there is so much personality in it; the student is being publically scrutinized and blamed and really not given the chance to learn from what has happened.
We need our students to think about what they have done, consider what could been done differently, and then create a plan for moving forward. There is no chance for our students to reflect or learn when they are being belittled and not treated with respect. It is important for us as educators to provide the coping skills available for students so their emotions do not push them around. As educators, we need to be using our own coping skills and check-in with ourselves frequently to see if we are helping our children learn or if our emotions are pushing us around.
It is often difficult to find a balance between being a disciplinarian and being a social worker, especially in the school setting. This might sound like an oxymoron to some, but I think my experience working in schools has helped me find a balance between my role of holding my students accountable and being their therapist. In fact, I think I learned some things that might be helpful for all educators.
As educators, it is our job to teach children. During every moment that passes through the school day, we should be asking ourselves, “How is this helping the child learn/develop/grow?” If it is not, then chances are it does not need to be a part of the day. That’s where discipline comes in. Of course children are going to make mistakes, in fact if they didn't, we wouldn't really have jobs. It is our job to help children become better students, learners, and individuals. Often times when a child acts out, it makes us cringe; we could become annoyed and angry and sometimes even think, “Not this kid again.” But we have to change our mindset because it is not helping our students learn.
I have always loved the quote, “anger is one letter short of danger.” I've loved it because it’s helpful to teach kids about but it is also helpful to teach adults. When one of our students acts out in class, or requires a consequence, we should not be approaching the situation with anger. This is an important concept I learned at High Road; the staff members' personality is essentially removed during the school day and the day's purpose is for students to either earn consequences or rewards, making each moment one that can be learned from.
How are we helping when we yell at our students out of anger when they have done something wrong? Typically, it causes them to act out more, or hold in their emotions; neither of which is healthy or helpful. Instead, what if we take the personality out of reprimanding students and matter-of-factly state our expectations? For example, “Daniel, part of the rules is to use appropriate language, so you are no longer allowed to earn a prize because you just used an inappropriate word.” Think about how much better this sounds than abrasively yelling, “Daniel! You should be ashamed of yourself, what you just said is completely unacceptable! Why would you say something like that? That’s it! You’re not getting a prize. I’m tired of always telling you the same thing over and over.” Although this example is a bit exaggerated, there is so much personality in it; the student is being publically scrutinized and blamed and really not given the chance to learn from what has happened.
We need our students to think about what they have done, consider what could been done differently, and then create a plan for moving forward. There is no chance for our students to reflect or learn when they are being belittled and not treated with respect. It is important for us as educators to provide the coping skills available for students so their emotions do not push them around. As educators, we need to be using our own coping skills and check-in with ourselves frequently to see if we are helping our children learn or if our emotions are pushing us around.